JOKE

HAVE A LAUGH FOR THE WEEK. IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR SYSTEM!!!!! JUST READ THE ARTICLE BELOW. APPLICATION FOR EMPLOYMENT I am apply to my job of security guard to you boss in you company of Shoprite. I complete to Grade 8 examination certificate in 1997. I am 27 ears to be Born of age and no mallied and no childish. My father is dead long time ago and my mother mary in Zaire country there 10 years now, no see she so nobody known to help me. My certificate is just sitting home for itself, but passes in Mathematics, Geography, Science and all subjects but fail in English because of Nyanja teacher, Mr Phiri, teaching me is jelos of myself. Me wear expenses cloth than Ngoni teacher. I here people you want security guards to you company and I tell you I Am one of that job experience for 2 years. I shot thief dead. I want to Join the company of you and chase criminal out with me AK47. Please consider my aplication careful and call me any time because me Have celphone. I am red for interview with you. I am very hornest and can speak English free. Please also greet your wife. And rememba that English is not our mother land!! Yours in faith Pasopa Mampara

4 THINGS YOUR MOBILE PHONE COULD DO

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival. Check out the things that you do with your mobile phone.

First: Emergency

The emergeny number worldwide is 112. If you find yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to establish the emergency number for you. Interestingly, number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked.

Second: Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: if you lock your key in the car and the spare keys at home, call someone at home on their mobile phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. You have saved someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other `remote` for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Third: Hidden Battery Power:

Imagine your mobile battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your mobile will restart with this reverse and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your mobile next time.

Fourth: How to Disable a Stolen Mobile Phone:

To check your mobile phone1s serial number, key in the following digits on your phone *#06#, A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe. When your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief charges your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can not use/sell it either. If everybody does this , there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

GREAT MINDS ARE BUILT

The mind is the repertoire of reasoning

It is a vital part of human life

The state of every one`s mind determines the worth of the person

No good judgement or assessment can be made without a healthy mind

A weak mind produces weak result or output

A great mind breeds great ideas or output

Your thinking pattern shows who you are

No one can do any useful thing with you without your mind Philemon verse 14

Our focus, our great example Jesus Christ had a good mind;

A healthy mind, a good judgemental mind, a caring mind; a mercifully mind;

A mind that does not habour evil thought; a creative mind

No wonder one of the heroes Apostle Paul said that

We should have the mind Christ

1 Corinthians 2 verse 16; Christ`s mind is the mind that is ready to serve,

A mind that is submissive to heavenly dictates, a mind that is humble.

It takes humility to have great mind.

Before honour is humility

It takes humility to develop a mind. It takes humility to read other people`s materials

An arrogant person cannot go far in life.

A proud person can never develop his mind, for a prod mind is unhealthy mind

The day a man stops readind , he starts dying.

To build your mind, you must be among the wise; good companion that will enlarge your

Thoughts, enhance your reasoning;create a curious mind in you;

You must go for books that will increase your wisdom.

For your state of mind deermines how far you can go in life Proverbs 23 vs 7

Great minds are not born; neither they are they got through prayer and fasting

Great minds are rather got through conscious effort

So consciously develop your mind, for it is what will position you for greatness in life.

JAPANESE WOMEN

Japanese Women Are the Longest Living in the World

Japanese women were once again named the longest living people in the world in 2008, showing the life expectancy of 86 years, Japan's health ministry reported. Japanese girls born in 2007 can expect to live to an age of 86 years old, ranking the first in the list of the world' longevity for 23 years. Japanese boys will have an average life expectancy of 79,2, following Iceland and Hong Kong males.

The longer life expectancy of Japanese women is explained by such factors as healthier diets and close social ties. The improvements of medical treatment of such diseases as cancer, heart disease and stroke also contribute to longer lifespan, a ministry spokesman said. Japan also tops the world as the country with the lowest birth rates in the world. This fact brings special concern to the government as Japan is ageing faster than other countries. The statistics show that nearly tenth of the population today is 75 years or older.


The number of Japanese people aged over 65 is expected to double by the middle of the century. Thus, Japan would have to deal with the increased pension funding and find new ways of maintaining productivity.


According to the last year statistics, Taiwanese women ranked the second in the list of longest lived, and Spanish and Swiss women on the third and forth place respectively. The shortest male and female life expectancy with only 37 years is found among Swaziland people.
Source: Reuters

OBAMA`S VISIT

OBAMA'S FIRST AFRICAN VISIT IS TO GHANA NOT NIGERIA

President Obama will visit Russia and Ghana in July, his first visit to a sub Saharan African nation according to BBC world Service News Hour. If the visit is confirmed, it will be another slap on Nigeria's face this year. You will recall that the Nigerian lamented that Nigeria was not invited to the G20 meeting in UK and called that a sad day for the nation. Now an African American President is visiting West Africa and side stepping the "Giant (elephantiasis) of Africa." Add to this the fact that no major Western Head of State or Government has visited Nigeria during the tenure of Mr. Yar' Adua. Nigeria's wealth and population size is beginning to matter less and less to the world. Those who the gods want to destroy; they first make mad. Nigeria r'onu o

From the "GIANT OF AFRICA"
To the "NOTHING OF AFRICA"

Is that the direction we are heading?

TO OUR GRADUATES

The term “content of character” is often very confusing and sometimes needs to be broken down to measurable matrixes.

CREDIT SCORE: If you borrow money or buy anything on credit, be sure to pay back. This matrix is measured in terms of credit score. Be sure to keep at least 720 credit score.

GPA: If you are enrolled in a class, strive to be the best. Keep at least a 3.5 GPA.

RELIABILITY: If you take a job, be sure to be there on time every day you are scheduled to work. Keep a matrix score of 100%

INTEGRITY: If you say or promise that you are going to do something, be sure to do it. Keep it at 100%.

HOW TO "CURE" A BOUNCING Yahoo! ACCOUNT:

HOW TO "CURE" A BOUNCING Yahoo! ACCOUNT:

Yahoo! groups moderators used to be able to click the "Re-Activate" button and be able to un-bounce a subscriber's bouncing email account. This is NO LONGER THE CASE.

Luckily, Yahoo! gives each subscriber a way to un-bounce their own accounts these days. Usually, accounts bounce when subscribers are not able to attend to their emails in a timely manner; (people travel without freezing their email streams from forums they belong to). Consequently their e-mailbox fill up and bouncing happens.

TO CORRECT THIS situation, follow the steps below:

1. Visit your My Groups page.
2. Look for a bounce alert near the top of the page.
3. Click Go to My Email Preferences.
4. Click Unbounce next to the bouncing email address.
5. This immediately sends an email to your mailbox. If it’s no longer bouncing, you’ll receive that email. Click on the link in the email.

Note: Reactivating your account will NOT immediately restore email delivery. The change in your status still needs to be propagated to all your groups. Usually, this happens within hours, but there may be occasions (particularly if you’re in a group with more than 75 members) when it may take a day or more.